Can you quote the 95% piracy rate on Android? Only 5% of users bother to sideload. Android is not the security nightmare it is made out to be: https://duo.com/decipher/google-data-shows-tiny-fraction-of-android-devices-run-malicious-apps

I am 100% on board with your comments though. Apple has basically said to the EU that they can use alternate storefronts but if you do it’s going to cost developers a shedload more, forcing them to stay on the App Store and defeating the purpose.